A Compassionate Father

"His father caught sight of him and was filled with compassion."

Lk 15:1-3, 11-32

Note the father's response to catching that first glimpse of his long-lost son. It isn't joy. It isn't gratitude. It is compassion.

Compassion isn't an emotion that serves oneself. It is decidedly "other-focused." The father's compassion benefits only his son.

The father's actions are similarly for the benefit of his son. His embracing and kissing his son is not an expression of his own feelings, but a gesture intended to make his son feel loved and welcomed. The luxurious clothing he gives his son communicates that the father, though already "robbed" of a significant portion of his assets by this very son, is still willing to shower him with the best of his material goods: the son has not reached his credit limit, as it were, with his father. The party he throws shows his son that the entire household likewise holds no grudge against him. He has been welcomed back. He is home, in every sense.

In contemplating Jesus' call for us to love our enemies, sometimes positive, affective love feels totally out of the question. Such "love," based solely in our minds rather than our hearts, can feel worthlessly fake. This reaction makes sense, as we cannot truly love what (or who) we do not know.

In seeking to follow Jesus' command, then, perhaps compassion is a more reasonable starting point. Without attempting to conjure baseless feelings, compassion brings us into contact with our enemy and allows us to begin to build a relationship with them. From relationship, with time, can come true love.